[ Artist / Within ] Inside her Brooklyn sanctuary, Anika shares how her space is an open canvas for self-expression to be experienced

I’ve known Anika for a good minute of my life now. I think the universe knew what she was doing when it put her in my life. Nevermind the fact that one of our earliest memories together is when we went on a double date to see Twilight in theaters with our then-boyfriends. Little did we know, our friendship was only beginning its soul-nourishing evolution of sad girl talks, creative nights in, reckless nights out, museum hangs and music adventures, and pretty much anything that brings our little artful hearts joy and purpose.

Anika is art herself. She doesn’t have to be in any creative industry to exude a natural affinity towards all things artistic and creative. She once said out loud that she simply likes to make beautiful things. Whether that’s nurturing her plants, arranging flowers, painting, making jewelry, building DIY furniture — there isn’t anything Anika can’t turn into something beautiful with her own hands. Though she once ventured into turning one of her hobbies into a business, Figment (her own jewelry brand), she soon realized that there is a personal price in emotionally investing yourself into your art as a business for others.

Despite our numerous deep discussions on the meaning of love and life and all things in between, this is the first time I’ve asked Anika to open up about her artistic endeavors and what drives her creative energy, inside her Brooklyn apartment slash studio. What you’ll soon read about this innately artistic individual is that sometimes, making art is the only sensical practice to share yourself with those you love.

You're always trying to do something, make something, create something, but why and what is it for you? How do the ideas come to you?

Well, yeah, I suppose it is a way of life. In general, my attention in daily life is drawn to notice art, even to [notice] the way people dress, or the ceramic walls on the subway station, or books. I love books with really good fonts. And it helps, I don't know whether or not it’s because of my artistic perspective, but it’s helped shape my friends now.

Even if it's really just the way you view the world, you still enact on it. You see something beautiful but you're also practicing things.

Well, it's interesting because you're right, I don't have one craft, but in that sense, it is really liberating because then I see something and I'm not like, ‘Oh, I can't do that.’ I don't really know what I'm capable of doing. Or I'm not married to a set of skills, but I know I'm good at this.

Does it have to be something you're good at or you're testing to see whether you're not good at it?

Yeah, it's more of just testing. I’m curious and think, ‘I wonder if I could do something like this.’ I guess because I don't have an end point of finding that one thing or a thing that's my thing. I can go at it really liberally. I don't feel a lot of pressure. It's more just like adult play.

Maybe is that why you don't really monetize on that ‘thing,’ or you don't really make anything into a career?

Yes, because one, I think really a lot of that is rooted in fear of being seen, but then also, it is already rewarding its own.

What do you mean by ‘being seen’ though? What do you not want to be seen for?

As an imposter who's like, ‘Oh, but you know nothing about this.’ Yeah, I don't know anything about this but I just really just gave it my [all]. I just tried and read a little thing.

Let's say you're picking up on a lot of different types of hobbies and crafts, what's the drive there? What is it that keeps you going? Because I’m sure you’re not going to love everything you try.

What keeps me going? It's like where I get my energy from doing that particular thing. I think that I get really into it because there's a sense of flow state that I get into that I really can't achieve any other way other than my mind and my hands in proper sync of each other. My mind is thinking these things and my hands are manifesting it as my brain is, and that's just a sense of nourishment — emotional and mental nourishment that I don't know how else to receive anywhere or get anywhere.

You’re saying it’s the best way to have mind-to-body connection without your mind wandering anywhere else because in the moment it's just between what you're thinking and what your hands are doing. So it's kind of in that little container of, ‘This is where I'm at right now and what I'm making.’

That's why I often don't even realize, ‘Oh, this is cool. Oh, you made that.’ I don't stand back at [what I’m making] and say, ‘Wow.’ Because it really is for me, just in the experience.

What does it mean for a thing you're working on to be complete?

I don't know if I actually look at any of the things that I have done and say it is complete, but when I did have [my jewelry business] Figment, it was more so a boundary of my emotional investment into something.

How do ideas come to you?

A good question. Remember when I choreographed [to the song] Mountains for the Canvas [dance showcase]? I don't know if you remember, but I used a lot of editorial magazine references [for the staging]. And I was like, I really like [these cool poses]. I think, ‘How can I incorporate that feeling, that emotive feeling from this photo the way it was artistically directed? How can I do that in movement?’ My mind just draws parallels.

I think maybe it works that way because you're not tied to one medium, so you kind of see a blank canvas of multiple mediums and formats on the same plane.

Yeah. When I was editing photos for Mexico, out of nowhere, I just was like, ‘Wait, this photo's really reminiscent or gives me the feeling of this landscape photo that I also took.’ Almost like they should be paired up. The same goes with [how I see] jewelry. Jewelry for me is like colors and textures. So I see it in plants and flowers and architecture — like lines. I feel like there’s just an infinite mood board in my head.

I’m curious about the process of putting your apartment together. How did you even start on that? And it always changes every time I come over. I guess that speaks to you saying nothing's ever complete.

Wow. You are just showering me with compliments right now.

What goes through your mind as you're partaking in different hobbies?

I definitely am a person of feeling, so everything I do is rooted in an emotion.

Has there ever been something you started and you're like, ‘Actually, I'm not good at this, or I don't actually like this’?

Rock climbing.

Really? Why?

Maybe, honestly, I couldn't hold it. I couldn't see myself in it. And I think for a lot of people, maybe rock climbing, too, is in the process of mind-body connection where you're climbing and you're thinking and you're solving this puzzle. But I couldn't hold it. I couldn't see it and then this was my experience when I did this. And to answer your question about [the process for putting together] my apartment, I guess I have my non-negotiables. So plants, those are non-negotiables. For example, where in this apartment is it most conducive [for plants] to grow? And then…God, these are such hard questions.

Have you ever thought about who your art is for? And what makes you feel called to create art?

I have. I think so. For example, my birthday dinner, why did I have to create these small little clay flower holder things for my dried flowers? Nobody actually caress about the damn flowers on the table. But to me, seeing [those flowers] invokes that my presence is here. ‘Anika's presence is here.’ So my art is really [because] I don't know how to talk about myself but it’s easier for you to experience me through the art than it is for me to sit here and talk about how much I love plants and nature.

That's so interesting, but you're right. In the same way that no one is one-dimensional, and we're not our own form of representation. Humans are so dynamic. And to say that whatever we say, whatever our actions portray are completely encompassing of who we are as a human being is not entirely fair.

Yeah. And that really makes me think when you make something in the container that is you, then at that point, your thoughts matched to your actions and what you did.

As in matched what you did in the moment that you were completely in this flow state [of creativity], and not reactive to everything stimulating…

Correct. And it was just you.

So creating pieces for people to experience your way of saying, ‘I'm extending my interaction with you or my connection with you through these pieces without physically interacting with you.’

Correct.

I guess maybe are you just allowing the art to just speak for who you are.

And I think, for people whom I'm just met, when they first walk into my apartment and say, ‘Wow, this is so Anika,’ or something. That to me is the best compliment.

Because you feel like you're fully represented in how you're building out your space?

Because you can draw connections between who I am and where I am physically, or what my environment is like. You can see that parallel so to me it's like, ‘Wow, I feel like I'm really honoring that proclivity in me to be artistic.’ The best compliment is when someone says, ‘Wow, your plants look so beautiful,’ or something like that. It's like, ‘Thanks, it took a lot of time.’ For somebody to notice whatever it is that I make, they're also acknowledging the energy that I put into it.

“How do you maintain the joy of something without it feeling like a chore? Because it’s beautiful. ”

Okay, so because you have so many modes of artistic expression — plants, floral arrangements, jewelry making, photography — at what point do you feel so spread out in all these things? How do you go from one interest to another?

I think I integrate [them] into my way of life. [For example] with plants, it's become so second nature to me to dry flowers. So it just becomes integrated [into my life] and that allows me to free up mental room to learn something new.

Can you explain that further?

I have so many books on plants and flower arrangements, so before, I would dive deep into [learning about it]. Now, I have this knowledge that I can just practice it daily. I don't need to necessarily portion out time [to continue learning it], and now, it's just maintenance. Have you ever had a hobby that's just become maintenance?

I don't know. Because if it starts feeling like maintenance, then I don't know if I'm enjoying it anymore.

But you can maintain that joy, if that makes sense.

How do you maintain the joy of something without it feeling like a chore?

Because it’s beautiful.

Do you ever get to a point where you hit a wall with whatever you're working on?

Well, jewelry for sure is a prime example of that, and I needed to step away from it for an extended period of time, literally, until I just found myself naturally returning to it.

How did you find your way back?

I think when I started actually noticing again when people wore my jewelry and I didn't have to be like, ‘Oh my God, that’s Figment.’ I just was like, ‘Wow, Anika, you made that and this person's still wearing that.’

What does it mean to see someone wear your jewelry?

Validated.

Validated in that you can do it or that you still want to do it?

That it wasn't a fruitless pursuit. It wasn't just this one time thing or this hobby that I picked up, and then I'm throwing it away. It sounds so corny…

It doesn’t sound corny. I'm glad you were able to find your way back into it. It would suck that you do something that is such a significant part of your creative trajectory but then to get to a point where you're so frustrated with it that it brings a lot of feelings of doubt or that didn't make you feel good, it almost feels like you lose a part of yourself.

Right, I noticed the shift, really, [especially] when I used to see jewelry, I’d think, ‘Oh, I can make that.’ Now, the feeling is, ‘I really like the way those bricks look, and I wonder if I can somehow emulate that into something wearable.’ Now, my imagination has returned to me where I start looking at the world in parallels, and differently again. Honestly, that's probably because I'm not so emotionally drained.

I think a lot of why my apartment is my apartment is because I draw emotional energy from my atmosphere, and I know that plants and flowers make me feel good, and nice textiles. You know when you go to a cafe and you just love going to that cafe because it’s just so well done? Well, I want to walk into my apartment all the time feeling like, ‘Wow, I want to stay here forever.’

Do you ever feel at odds with your science, pharmacy side and your artistic, creative side?

I used to in school because I didn't want to be studying…well, actually, no, that's a lie. I made my notes like art. I just had so many highlighters and different color pens and all that. But, no, I'm at peace with it because I am not career-oriented whatsoever. My job is a means to an end, and I'm really privileged, I'm really lucky that I pursued this pursuit to be a pharmacist because I don't have — and I'm so blessed to say this — I don't have to worry. And less worrying is so liberating for you to just feel because worry bleeds into so many things.

So you want to preserve your relationship with your art without the stresses and worries of external factors?

Correct. I'm going to maintain whatever security that I find in [my art], and that's it.

But do you still need that validation from people experiencing your art?

I think it just happens when friends come over that is really validating. People coming over and commenting and observing and watching. When people take photos of corners of my apartment, I'm like, ‘Wow, you really thought that was photo-worthy? Whatever it is there, you somehow connect with.’ So that is, I think, where I get a bulk of my validation.

So it's not like you're searching for that validation?

I think sometimes I am, but I also know that whatever desire that [need for validation is] or whatever feeling that is, is probably really momentary because [in that moment] I am really sensitive, and I just unlocked a piece of myself that I really don't like, so now I want to bandaid it with a compliment.

Do you consider yourself an artist?

I do consider myself artistic but — I don't know when I made this decision — at one point I told myself, ‘I don't know if I could ever call myself an artist.’ Because I would rather just say, ‘I'm Anika.’ Art isn't what I do, it’s [an expression of myself]. And I guess, maybe that's because the way I skew the word artist is very…

Disciplined.

Yes, yes. And I am definitely not disciplined in any of what I do.

I think that's not discussed enough. When I talk to some people and they say, ‘Oh, I'm not really creative, so I can't do x, y, z.’ I’m like, ‘But you are. Everyone is creative.’ It's just all of a sudden there's a space where people think you have to be defined in some way to be considered an artist or a creative, but I don't think there's enough attention for the space where you can be drawn to all these forms of art and not have to make a living off of it or have to prove it by putting out things all the time. I think those are also stories that I wish more people were aware of so that they feel empowered to believe, ‘Oh yeah, I am pretty artistic.’

We're human beings, we’re not human doings. So I'm just being — I can just be being. And that's not to discount actual artists because honestly, the discipline is so inspiring and I admire that a lot — that's an emotional investment. I, at least, have not found myself capable of, or interested in, investing [emotionally].

How do you want your relationship with art to evolve and grow, especially how you want to grow from it?

I think the dream is that I get to experience art — more art, my art — in my relationships. [So that I can ask], ‘What can I do to help? Or how can I help?’ I want my art to almost be seen as a skill or as a service that I can offer my friends. I hate to say it that way, but my love language is acts of service, so I want to make this impression on the people in my life that my art isn't just for me. I would much rather do something for you. ‘How can I help you grow your plants? Do you need flowers arranged for your apartment?’ or ‘Do you want me to help rearrange your place?’ I want to give in that way because that is how I show love.

For you to say [art] is a way of life means it's a way of life, not just for you but for everyone else to experience, too.

I want to give that feeling to you. I don't want it to seem be an intimidating thing for people to ask [for my creative help], because to me, it's also inviting me into your life so that I could show love to you.

So you're making art for people...

I would love for it to be that way.

This is a story from my ongoing artist portrait series and editorial campaign entitled Artist/Within. It is a collection of conversations I’ve captured with the artists in my life, revealing the delicate balance they maintain between their daily routines and the pursuit of their artistic passions.

Read other conversations within the collection here.