Unbecoming
"There’s an art to unbecoming—to failing so beautifully you have no choice but to reassemble your entire life into something more suited to your skin—something more surprising, and more hospitable. Failure isn’t the end of fortune, but its beginning. This is all a cycle. Temporary, transient. Gloriously so."
Finders Keepers top c/o
// Club Monaco trousers // Glamorous shoes // Urban Outfitters clutch // thrifted bandana //
c/o //
c/o
I once read a quote that went along the lines of "If life starts feeling uncomfortable, it is the universe telling you change is coming." So here I am thinking that all those times where I felt like everything was beating me down and purposely going wrong at the same time, life was ultimately testing my strength and tolerance. Like the world was pushing me down just to see how I could handle getting back up. Like I was being taught lessons through tough love, sometimes a little too much toughness to the point where I felt like throwing in the white flag and giving up.
You win, Life, you win
. And each time when I finally escape a hell day, week, month, slightly scathed and barely steady, I think how I just dodged another bullet yet again, but next time the struggle will increase by another inch.
But I had it all wrong. I was viewing this itching uncomfortableness backwards and glass half empty. Life wasn't trying to test me. Life was telling me to restructure and repurpose. To untangle my worn strings and reassemble for a different kind of assuredness. My failures--they are simply the traffic signs reminding me to make that left turn, the detour signs directing me to reroute to that exit towards a different destiny. This is the never-ending map of self-evolution--a cycle of turns and paths sprouting in alternate directions. It is the meticulous crafting of growth, of upwards and onwards, of unbecoming, and then seamlessly piecing it newly together again.
It's strangely comforting to know that life is not permanent. That change is agreeably inevitable and the universe is guiding me to accept new variation. It's like entrusting my fate in the hands of perfect transience, letting go of my controlled grip and watching where the pieces land in the subtlest of peaceful shadows.
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