Walking Crooked
"At any rate, I might pursue some path, however solitary and narrow and crooked, in which I could walk with love and reverence."
H&M top //
c/o // Topshop shoes //
c/o
As a self-branded creative enthusiast, I encounter the question, "What is the overall goal for your blog?" or "Where do you see your blog taking you in the future?" a little more than I'm comfortable answering. While I'm totally accepting of it as the appropriate follow-up question to an introductory conversation about my blog, people always wonder about my blog's future and what I want from it in the long-run. Well, folks, I wish I knew myself. Sure, I have particular hopes and have thought about goals, but more so in the short-term sense--growing its recognition and numbers, working with more brands and bloggers, etc. But when I have to sit down and really think about the ultimate goal for Little Mai Sunshine, I just can't seem to muster up a definitive answer. At first, I took this hesitation as a amateur flaw in my entrepreneurship.
How can I not have an end to a means?
I put so much effort into it, perfect it to a specified taste, and have committed to it for several years now. So if there's no long-term goal for it, then what is the point? For a while, I felt pretty discouraged and stripped of some real validation. I felt undeserving to be blogging amongst such passionate self-branded creatives in the community who knew exactly what they wanted going forward while I "pretended" to follow the same path. Thus, began the word vomit of answers that half made sense under the pressure of unanticipated spotlight but the other half reasons I thought sounded right but not fully believed. And as someone who strives to only put forth an accurate reflection of myself that I wholly believed, these rollout of half-hearted answers were eating at my moral sense of self.
What I really stand behind, though, is that defining your goals doesn't mean defining yourself. I am someone who changes her mind and attitude as much as she changes outfits in the morning to find the right one for the day (which is quite a lot). So why belittle my value as a style blogger just because I'm still learning what I want out of my blog? It doesn't degrade my passion, it doesn't undermine my creativity. It means I am always willing and open to taking each new experience is an inspiration. I believe walking a path I whole-heartedly believe in, as uncertain, as unpaved, and as treacherous as it may be. I don't know where my blog will lead, and frankly, I don't care because I've always understood that things happen for a reason and for the good as long as your conviction stands firm and your happiness holds forth.
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